30 day blogger challenge Day 2

Friday, 5 July 2013 |

Day 2

Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)




So I'm sat here thinking what could I possibly educate such wonderful ladies out there, can't really go for cooking as chicken and pasta isn't quite cordon bleu.  Now what else do I know a lot about, well myself but I have a feeling the yawning and nodding heads would not be such an attractive look for yourselves.

Therefore I'm going for something I know best, oh yeah shopping.  Yawn I hear and click as you move away but hold on let me give you my shopping adventure with a man.

Week before - decide on where to go.  This involves checking out where has the most shops that I like, no point going somewhere if I'm not going to spend Mr C's money is there.  I think he can sense my excitement from the ooh's and aah's as I'm trawling the internet or is he fearing this imminent shopping trip knowing that part of his wardrobe will now become mine with my new purchases.

In the run up to the said shopping trip I have already started to organise myself with an outfit, but of course this has changed several times and seriously I can't find a thing in my wardrobe to put on, good job I am going shopping to be honest.

Is this sad or am I the only woman that when trawling the internet makes a list of where to go and what to look out for.  This is meant to make the shopping trip so much easier and of course quicker I tell Mr C.  I won't be in the shops for long.  His eyes roll and "yes babe" are said.

D-Day - I'm up early and the only time I'm up this early is if I'm off on holiday but I need to prepare myself, shower, dress, change, dress, change, check weather and change again.  Mr C has been up and showered thrown on an ensemble and is sat patiently in the living room watching the clock.  I eventually saunter down the stairs feeling good.

Breakfast done and now in the car heading to said shopping centre.  Trying to accept that driving at the speed limit is a necessity when I just want to get there, I hold back that urge to reach my leg over and slam my foot on the accelerator, just to guide Mr C that little bit quicker before everyone buys up all the sale items.

I know my style and what suits me.  I know what shops to avoid due to their lack of material they seem to put into their clothes.  So armed with this I've made sure I know what colours are in for the season and what styles. 

How do I know my style, well as you know there is the Apple, Pear, Tangerine, Banana and Lemon - dear god who thought of these name, must have been a man hey.  I would go for Oh Dear (too skinny), Wishful (slim size), Possibly (not slim and not fat), Big and Bad and Stylish (me).
 
We've parked finally, few choice words said by Mr C about the driving skills of a few people's driving and parking and he kindly parks in the furthest space away from the shopping centre.  I calmly look down at my little shoes which I have to say match my outfit perfectly today and realise that although they are gorgeous my feet will hurt just walking from the car to the shops.  But no pain no gain.
 
Inside the shopping centre, I stop for a second, take in a deep breath and scan.  My inbuilt Sat Nat, yes I said Sat Nat kicks in and I'm like a woman possessed with little time on her hands.  Somewhere in the distance I hear "would you like to start off with a cup of tea". I look at him with wild eyes as if he's talking stupid, tea drinking when the shops are open, are you mad I think but restrain and say not right now.
 
We wander from shop to shop and no purchases as yet.  Why I hear you cry because men can't seem to aid us on our mission to buy the perfect outfit.  This is why.....

Now as you have all experienced shopping with a man starts of very enthusiastically with lovely comments about the variety of outfits you try on.  And we all know that the majority of these outfits are ones that we tried on in all the other shops but in our eyes they are not the same.  The blokes start doing the hot shoe shuffle from boredom or randomly start chatting to anyone that they come into contact whilst waiting outside the changing rooms.  You walk out to show him something and you can see him in deep conversation with another bloke, the words "yeah and the footie is on, I could have..." at this point he looks up and they edge away from each other sensing danger as I'm stood there with my hands on my hips not understanding why his attention is not currently on my outfit I'm parading in front of him. "Babe if you like then I like it".  I know I've lost him at this point and any further changing room runway parades are a no go.
 
I feel alone, he has now demoted himself to bag carrier.  Revenge is sweet, I'm going to buy buy buy.
 
I continue around the shops, darting back to ones that I had seen something but not 100% sure about it.  Mr C starts with "we have just been there why...." he sensed my glare and shut up.  He's learnt that it's best not to say much.  I feel guilty as all those bags look heavy, oh well he's got strong arms.  I didn't think for one minute the amount of times we passed the entrance we came into and should have told him to put the bags in the car to free his hands up for more, maybe that's why they never go back to the car as it will free up their hands to carry loads more bags, ahhhhh clever!
 
Don't worry I do allow Mr C to venture off on his own because this gives me a bit of breathing space to shop slowly and take in all the latest crazes in fashion, people watch and see what they are mixing and matching and gather my ideas for my own outfits.
 

6 comments

  1. Love this post!! I like the way that you write, you made me chuckle xx

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  2. I love love love the phrase 'Big and Bad and Stylish'. I am two of those three things and I am working on the third! x

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    1. Thanks! I think it was stolen from my sister but it's so good!

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  3. LOVE THIS! I have yet to go on a successful shopping trip with a man! My ex thought too much danger lay ahead for him and my new fella has flat out refused to even venture out into battle. Oh well at least I can buy more stuff I don't actually need and kid myself that I look like Marilyn Monroe instead of a bag of spuds x

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    1. Thank you! He is normally pretty good when we go shopping and a perfect bag carrier (as long as I feed him as well!) :o)

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