What being a fat woman is really like
The lovely Claire from Monkey See Monkey Do Monkey Wear tweeted yesterday about this article from Cosmo and asked who would be interested in answering the questions on their blog!
I couldn't wait to get writing ,so below are the questions and my answers:
How do you feel when other woman around you complain about feeling/being fat?
Nothing irks me more than when women moan about feeling fat. Oh I've eaten too much I feel fat, I look fat in this or I feel fat. Duh of course you feel fat, you feel it every time you shower and touch yourself, every time you wash your face or rub your arms, you have fat under your skin so of course you feel it. It doesn't matter what size you are does it?
Has your body image changed since High School/College?
Yes, 100%. At school I hated my body, I was always one of the biggest in my year. The hatred grew worse once I had got to college and spent the whole year being bullied by girls because I was 'too fat' to fit in. As I sit here today I no longer spend endless hours crying because of my size, I don't get upset because there isn't anything to fit me. I can finally look in the mirror and say yes, I am fat but I am a pretty, friendly, nice, sometimes hormonal fat woman.
Have you tried dieting and what happened?
I will keep this short and sweet because I could probably have a Guinness World Record for the longest answer about dieting.
The last diet I went on I lost 4.5 stones, I joined WW and I went to the gym 3 times a week. This soon turned into twice a day. At the weekends I would try and survive on 2 meals a day. During the week before bed I would take laxatives hoping by the morning I would be 1lb or so lighter. I obsessed over everything that I ate. I did it all because I thought life would be better if I was slimmer. Was it? No, I'm far happier when I have a good meal in my tum and that's just the way I am!
Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?
Neither really, I just have a super sweet tooth and enjoy a good meal!
Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?
I wouldn't say I am healthy but I don't eat crap all the time. Sorry fat bashers, but I do eat fruit and salads everyday. My problem is lack of exercise. I sit down all day at work and then come home and sit down again. I am active at the weekends which I do enjoy, but I have never loved exercise really and if I had a choice of going for a run or reading, well I think you can guess which one would win!
Anyway a thin colleague of mine is partial to battered sausage and chips for lunch once a week, I can tell when people come into the office they instantly think it would be me. Why? Because I am fat they wouldn't even think that actually I enjoy having a salad and crackers for lunch.
Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight that you're at? Have they always been?
I doubt they are but I hope that they still love me no matter size I am.
How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus size woman?
By asking us what we want to wear! Don't just roll out another hideous oversized collection because you think that will look good on us, ask us what we want to be wearing rather than thinking what we should be wearing.
Do you think plus size woman are judged differently than plus sized men are? How ?
I think that plus size men are always seen as the 'jolly 'ones, they can never be seen as attractive unfortunately, this is a shame because for me personality is super important.
Do you think there is right way or time to express concern about someone's weight?
It if it is a close friend or family member then yes, as long as you do it so you don't offend them. Don't be brash and horrible, nothing worse than that. Definitely don't do it to strangers.
What are the worst things that people have said to you about your body?
Whist I was in the queue for the pool in primary school one of my classmates turned to me and said that my thighs reminded her of two massive loaves of bread! Random I know but that comment, as silly as it seems, has stayed with me for life. My thighs are the one part of my body that I am slightly insecure about.
How did you respond?
I laughed but inside I felt hurt and sick to my stomach. This was the first hateful comment I had about my body and it left me confused. This was the point when I realised that I was bigger than a lot of the girls. I have never forgotten what happened and sometimes when I go near a pool that comment will often pop into my head and off into insecure mode I go!
What have people said (or do you wish they'd say) that would compliment your body or appearance?
I get a lot more compliments on my body nowadays but I think that a lot of that is down to the fact that I feel more confident and I hope that shines through. I'm more happy to try out different items of clothing and am more confident to wear clothes that before I wouldn't have worn because they perhaps highlight my figure, rather than trying to hide it. Also, I have become more confident about my appearance and no longer shy away from bright colours that make me standout from the crowd.
Do you find yourself hanging out with woman closer to your size?
Not really, all my friends are small and I think there is one that is around a 14/16 but most of them are people that I have known for a long time. What I love about blogging as a plus size is the wonderful women that I have met that understand the pains of having to find nice jeans or pretty skirts. I no longer feel like I'm having a fashion battle on my own!
Has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?
When you've been single, has your weight affected your dating life?
I don't think my weight was ever a problem, just the fact that I get crippled by shyness. The thought of talking to men or anyone for that matter made me feel sick. If it wasn't for blind dates and friends I think I would still be single.
Do you feel weird if the guy you're with only dated larger woman?
I think it would be a shame if a guy only wanted to date me purely because of my size and not because they were attracted to my personality.
Do you feel weird if he's only dated slimmer woman before you?
Yes I think I would feel weird because to me that would make it seem like he only wanted to 'try' dating a big girl to see what it was like. This is different for everyone though but that is my own thought.
Thanks for reading!
Have a look at the other ladies taking part: